May 8, 2025
Welcome back to Part 2 of an exploration of healthy aging, liminality, and the space between. April’s column explored parallels between the concept of liminality in our older years and Frankl’s space between stimulus and response. These concepts run adjacent to each other and can help us reframe ways to experience aging.
In previous articles on liminality and aging, we’ve taken note that our older years most frequently occur without the security or the baggage, depending on how you look at it, of prior identities tied to career, parenting, physical abilities or more. This brings us to a state of undefined roles and expectations. This stripping away of parts of our former identity, in the most positive way, can bring us agency in how we embrace this undefined state and how we choose to define our older selves. For example, we may become mentors, spiritual anchors, sharers of wisdom, keepers of knowledge, and much more.
Likewise, the space between stimulus and response is the space where freedom and agency reside. Inhabiting this space frees us to influence our reactions to the stimulus and make choices that better serve who we want to be in this world. It is where we can claim our chosen identities. This offers us a conscious reimagining of who we want to be. The space is not the “absence of” but the “presence of” – the place where selfhood can be expressed. Serious stuff!
The reality is that we all are reacting to stimuli every moment of every day, but without pausing in the “in between,” we automatically respond. This pattern of stimulus and response resides in the part of our brain that is most efficient, that requires the least amount of energy. And that makes sense! If our ancestors had to contemplate potential responses to the sabretooth tiger charging at us, we would not be here. It’s an evolutionary adaptive behavior that is hardwired into our brains for our own survival.
Breaking away from this automatic response is not an easy task. To take control, we have to get comfortable in this “in between” space and start exercising our liminality muscle, just as we exercise any muscle to make it stronger. And just as we start a new exercise program, we don’t overload our bodies with effort that can break us. We start small, with something we can do with just a small amount of effort. And we grow from there.
In consideration of the month of May, let’s practice that muscle by stopping on the literal threshold that separates your home from the outdoors, pause and soak in the moment, and consider the blossoms and blooms. Not only will you strengthen that “space between” muscle, but now your positive shift can ripple to those around you. I love that kind of strength training! See you next month.
Originally posted on Queen Anne Magnolia News.
